• Stacey

How a small decision can turn your life around

Updated: Jul 10, 2019

In 2016 I made one small decision, just one. That small decision has completely changed my life. I decided it was time to bet on Stacey. It was time to make myself a priority. A time to live the life I could only see in my dreams. It was time for me to love me, embrace me and say yes to the woman God called me to be. I knew this was going to be a pivotal point in my life because for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. I knew that when I began to change, everything around me would change. I didn't know exactly what that would look like but I was ready and willing to accept everything that was assigned to that change. One of my greatest fears was, what this change would mean for my family. I thought about it, weighed it and realized the bigger question was what would life look like ten years down the road if things went on as usual, if I never woke up, if I never lived my truth. What would I be teaching my children had I sat in silence, never being true to who I was suppose to be. I think the most difficult part about finally making the decision to walk away from my marriage of twenty years is the fact that it wasn't a horrible marriage on the surface. I know many women will never understand how I could leave if it wasn't "god awful". What I hope women around the world will understand is the marriage doesn't have to be physically abusive or tainted by an affair for you to leave. In my case, feeling caged, like I couldn't breathe, like my voice didn't matter, even feeling invisible at times and recognizing that the relationship was one sided, all played apart in my decision to go. Knowing God's assignment for my life would never be fulfilled and understanding that every year that went by, apart of me was dying, becme the deal breaker. Most important of all, God never told me to marry my ex. He actually told me to wait but I didn't listen. I've seen so many amazing women spirits become broken and eventually "die" in an unfulfilled, empty marriage. Let me dare to say, some type of abuse usually takes place in these marriages. It may not be physical but if you've ever felt caged, silenced, ignored, or like you just do not fit into your union then usually control, emotional, verbal, or mental abuse is not far from you.

I want to scream out loud to women, especially women of faith that you don't have to be a martyr in your marriage. No one is getting "brownie points into heaven" and I see so many women in dead relationships, thinking they're impressing God. We are loved by our Creator and He makes it very plain how we are to be loved by our husbands. His desire for us is that we be found by His choice and treated in the highest regards, with respect, dignity, cherished, loved and sacrificed for, above all things. Our men are commanded by God to love us and sacrifice for us. So I'll ask you, what's the number one thing that would make this a problem? Your turn, ask me. Well, when our men are not connected to, or have a relationship with the one who gave the commandment and they don't understand what it means to truly sacrifice for, would be a serious flag waving stop! Do not proceed! Caution! Go inquire of God. Men who do not reverence God, who have no relationship with God and are for the most part spiritually disconnected should be veered away from. This is where many of the "sisters" get in trouble because they are looking for the "church" man. Every man in church is not the man God has created to find you. It actually has little to do with the church building itself. I know ladies, I got caught in this somewhat myself because I wanted my man in church with me too but not entirely for that reason. I wanted him to know God, to desire a relationship with Him, to want to serve Him with me in ministry. So what we're talking about here is that it takes a god-fearing, spiritually connected man who IS the church and desires to learn, grow and fulfill his purpose in life. This is the gentleman whom God would have find you.

Now I'll ask you the question:

Are you looking for, seeking to find a man, even a god-fearing man? Because if you are, you're out of order. God never commanded the woman to find, to seek, to pursue the man. Our job is to prepare ourselves as we are like clay in the potters hand, allowing the Creator to mold us and shape us into the wives that carry that same energy which draws like energy (the perfect man of our dreams) back to us.

Back to that decision I made in 2016 to say YES to me. It changed my entire life. I believe for the best because now I get to be me. Some of you might be on the fence about something you've been thinking about for quite some time now and you're afraid to make a choice because you know it will change everything. Just remember, one small decision can turn your life around for the better. It's time to be bold and courageous and do what you sincerely believe is the right thing to do. What's pulling at your heart strings?

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