Reclaiming My Time...
How long has it been since I pampered myself? When was the last time I soaked in a bubbling bath of lavender? The answer would have been never or maybe over ten years ago until I decided that I had to deliberately carve out time for me. It wasn't going to automatically happen, the kids or their dad would never suggest it. To be honest, it wasn't the first thing to show up on my to-do list either. I had to begin the process of getting clear with what my needs are and step one was being honest (that will always be the first step).
Steps to getting clear about what your needs are: 1. being honest about what you actually need 2. understand that others might not understand or agree 3. realize in order for you to serve in a healthy manner, you have to be healthy first
4. honor yourself by making your needs a priority
I started thinking, if others didn't see me making myself a priority then they wouldn't feel the need to make my needs a priority. It all boils down to, we teach others how to treat us. It seems as though, I was doing everything in my power to tell my ex what I needed but was going no where fast. What I should have done after communicating my needs was lead by example, demonstrating how I needed to be cared for. What I've found after being in marriage for twenty years is that no one is responsible for my happiness, my health or taking care of my needs which leads to my second point. It took me a long time to understand that others might not understand or agree with what my needs are. I kept trying to wait for my ex to agree that I needed to take care of myself so that I could properly take care of our children and minister to his needs. Whether he couldn't understand or simply didn't care to understand, didn't change the fact that my needs were real and I was responsible for taking care of them. Point three, I realized I had to be "full" in order to give my children and their dad the best of me. Everyone who has been in an airplane has heard the stewardess explain that if the plane goes down, the parent is to place the oxygen mask over their face first then assist the child. Reason being, if you're fighting for your life and in a complete panic then you are no good and will not be able to properly help or keep your child safe. When you don't make yourself a priority your life gets out of balance. I would have moments where I would be attentive to my needs then more times then not, ignoring them because it kept things less complicated. Apart of me was fading, my vision was becoming blurred, anger was building and I would shrink a little to keep everything appearing to be ok. I'm not asking for permission these days when it comes to making my needs a priority. It's going to take me being completely present to ALL of me in order for me to be available to God. I love taking time out to pamper myself. How are you showing up for yourself these day? Have you ever given yourself permission to stop everything else and soak your tired muscles and rejuvenate your mind in a nice hot bubbling bath? #newblog #startingover #gettingbacktome #pampermyself #rejuvenate #bubblebath #mommytime #3pministry #selfcare #powerfulwomen