The Deal Breaker
Updated: Nov 8, 2019
How much is too much? How long is too long? Where do you draw the line? What is the point where you say no more and walk away? It’s funny because many of us believe we know our breaking point and can tell you exactly how we’d handle a situation UNTIL...
It’s not until we are face to face with our predicaments, that we really get to see how far our boundaries get to be pushed. Have you ever found yourself in a situation thinking, I said I would never do...be...go...? I would never be the other woman. I would never have a baby without a husband. I would never tolerate abuse. I would never put myself or my children in harms way.
It’s kind of perplexing because we truly don’t know what we would do in many situations until we are face to face with it. I was watching a reality show about these married couples and one of the wives was explaining to her husband how she felt everyone else’s needs came before hers. Even as she was pouring her heart out to him, he didn’t get it. He wasn’t able to step outside of his desires, wants and opinions to even hear her. I felt mixed emotions. I was sad and angry because it took me back to my marriage when I recalled saying the same thing to my husband. Only difference was, I was twenty years in. This couple is a newly wed so it breaks my heart.
The irony is, I would have sworn to you BEFORE I got into that situation,(where I was the last to be considered) that I would never tolerated any of the behaviors or actions of my ex that made me feel like I wasn’t a priority.
I can’t help but think, this poor woman on the reality show would have never entered into covenant if she thought for one moment, she would be the last one considered. That’s the way life works though, we don’t know what we don’t know, until we’re faced with the situation. I guess it all chalks up to learning, growing and gaining valuable experience. We don’t really know what our deal breakers are until we are in the fire of that situation. I thought so many things were deal breakers until I walked in those shoes and decided otherwise. I will say this. The things I suffered in marriage, those things I thought would be deal breakers helped me become more understanding. They helped me be less judgmental and more sympathetic when dealing with others. We don’t know until we get there.
My prayer for this couple is that the learning curve for him is very short because I believe he loves her, he’s just getting in his own way right now. From the looks of it, he has a real women who is mature, knows her worth and doesn’t appear to be one who will put up with too much mess. So let’s pray he figures it out.
Have you ever said, I would never.....and found yourself eating those words?